12 July 2011 View Comments »
Disclaimer: This post is intended and has to be taken with pinch of humor. It is not written to hurt anyone and if you feel offended, feel free to make it controversial. I really love controversies. In this era of Delhi Belly, I don't think this is too out of acceptable limits.
I went to Mumbai recently for the opening of my TJY friends' food joint by name "Idlicious". I happened to be there couple other times during TATA Jagriti Yatra 2010. During these short visits , I made some interesting observations about Mumbai. I wrote them down and here are the most striking things that I have observed.
Cleavages are a Common Sight
Wherever you go in Mumbai, be in the posh Bandra area or the out of the city Virar, one thing is very common. Women just love to flaunt their assets. Too bad that not many Delhi girls live in Mumbai. Also, age is no barrier to flaunt assets. Standup comedian Vipul puts it nicely "Whats there in age? All we want is package"
All the World's Population is in Mumbai
I haven't yet seen the KolKata ( Calcutta - Kal Ka Tha ). So when I saw the crowds in Mumbai, I can't help but wonder if the entire world's population is in Mumbai. At the same time, whole of Mumbai stays in Railway Stations. In Mumbai, every place is a public place. With the no smoking in public rule in place, I wonder how smokers survive there.
Love is in Public
I can't help but feel pity for those poor love birds who have to carry on their sweet private activities in public. The compound walls of any public place - be it beach, college ground or road dividers, are filled with couples. If was in some other city, I would have been totally excited to peek into their activities. Here there are too many couples on the wall that I can't even concentrate on any of them.
Matchboxes are Rented as Houses
I really don't know how the Mumbaikars live in so called "houses". I have seen the Jugaad of people in the form of sofa-cum-cots, foldable beds, wall-mounted chairs etc. Still, I can't imagine me living inside those matchboxes. I am not claustrophobic, but still living in Mumbai "houses" just beats me to hell.
Mumbai Local Trains are Empty
See how even the above statement has made you confused. The world knows how 'insurmountable' Mumbai Local Trains are. Be ready to be kicked , pushed, dragged and if you are lucky kissed. There is just no other way around.
Be Ready for a Sweat Bath
Mumbai is very near to sea. Mumbai has high population density. Mumbai local trains are main mode of transport. Mumbai weather is dry. Need I say that you should be carrying a towel and deo with you wherever you go.
If you are a lucky soul to get a seat in Mumbai local trains ( which is possible, with 0.1 probability, only if you stay at the starting point of the local ), be prepared to get your ass roasted. The seats in local train are so convenient that sitting in the sun on gravel is not even a problem.